Jessica is a Christian wife, mother of two, and pediatric occupational therapist with a small hobby farm based in DFW. She has had two home births now, and this is the story of her first.
The Decision Is Made
I decided a couple years before becoming pregnant that I would like to have a home birth after reading birth stories, watching birth videos, and watching The Business of Being Born. Once I became pregnant, I interviewed a few midwives until I found the one I felt the most comfortable with. I had a simple, smooth pregnancy under her care. I regularly saw a chiropractor, which kept me pretty comfortable.
So It Begins
My due date was July 9th, but I did not have any signs of impending labor until July 13th. I woke up that day with light contractions 10-15 minutes apart, and they did not progress. I woke up on July 15th with more noticeable contractions 5-7 minutes apart. I went about my day normally, including running errands, because I was in denial. I remember having to stop, lean over my shopping cart, and breathe through contractions every few minutes, but I still wasn’t convinced I would be having a baby soon. I called my husband, Caleb, that afternoon to let him know that if he wanted us to pick up my new car from the dealership that day, he should leave work instead of waiting for when he got off in case I wasn’t feeling up for it that evening.
In Denial While Getting Things Done
I wanted to nap, but I also wanted to get this errand out of the way. Caleb drove 20 min home, picked me up, then we drove 30 min to the dealership together. I had three contractions before we made it out of our neighborhood. He asked if he should turn around, and I told him not to worry about it since I could still kinda talk through them.
On the road, he called our salesman to let him know we were on our way and to have all of the paperwork ready so we could get through the process quickly. When we got to the dealership, the salesman asked why we were in a hurry— did Caleb need to get back to the office? Caleb explained that I was in labor, and we needed to get back home to have the baby.
The salesman looked PANICKED and began frantically moving around the dealership to get things ready. Before we left, he put a plastic lining in the driver seat in case my water broke on the way home. We drove home separately (me in my new mom car) in rush hour traffic. If you’re from FW, you know 820 and 35 are a mess.
Maybe This Is The Real Deal...
During this time, my contractions were less than 3 min apart and becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I began to consider I was in true labor. I was having to concentrate and breathe through each wave. Once I got home, I impatiently waited for Caleb so I could get one last bump picture with my new car in the background before getting in the shower. Why this was important to me, I have no clue. My midwife called and asked how I was feeling. Somehow, I was still in denial and wasn’t sure if she should come over yet, even though I was falling onto my hands and knees on the floor for every contraction. She decided to send her midwifery student to check on me since I lived over an hour away from them (we moved when I was 35 weeks pregnant). I texted my mom and sister that I “may” be in “early” labor. My friend called to check in, and she was confused by how calmly I was talking to her with “contractions every 3-5 min” as I had told her (and the midwives in the previous call). She asked if I had any contractions since we had started the call, and I told her 3. She freaked and said we had only been on the call for 7 min– that is more than every 3-5 min!!!
After the calls, I took one more bump picture in front of the bathroom door then got in the shower and embraced labor land. I stayed in the shower on my hands and knees for a couple hours. The hot water felt so good on my aching back. My mental coping strategy was to count to 4 for each inhale, 4 for each exhale, and 2 for a pause before the next inhale. I knew during each contraction I would only have to do the counting sequence 6 times and that contraction would be over. I also envisioned a wave crashing onto a beach, which seemed to help. As long as I was able to focus, the discomfort was completely manageable. If someone spoke or I was distracted by something, the discomfort was intensified x100.
Part Of The Team Arrives
My husband recommended I get out of the shower so there would be hot water available when it was time to fill the birth tub. Once I got out, I continued to stay on my hands and knees on the floor while my husband provided counterpressure to my back which really helped with the pain of back labor. The student midwife arrived and did a cervical check at 5:30 pm. I was 4 cm dilated. She stepped out to call the midwives and let them know they didn’t need to come over since I would probably deliver around 2 am. Not long after that, I threw up twice, and I could feel a shift in the labor.
I was in transition.
I was having a hard time maintaining my position because my arms were shaky and I was getting tired. I would try to lay down between contractions, but there wasn’t much time between them, and trying to get into position during the start of the contraction made them more painful.
I asked if we could fill the tub, and the student said it wasn’t quite time yet. I was concerned because I didn’t know how much more intense the waves could be! I was still coping well but I wasn’t sure how much longer I could continue at this intensity. She told me three more contractions. After the third, I asked again, and she continued to put it off. I learned later that the primary midwife didn’t want her to fill it until she was there.
Beginning Of The End
By the next contraction, I could feel my body begin to push and I became vocal. The student came into the room, checked my cervical dilation, then quickly left the room. I assumed I hadn’t progressed, but she was calling the midwives to tell them to hurry because I was 9 cm dilated. She came back into the room and began filling the tub. Once the tub was ⅓ full, she told me I could get in if I still wanted to, but I would need to keep my bottom submerged so the baby wouldn’t breathe in air before entering the water.
I got in the tub between contractions with a lot of help. I reached down and could feel her head. After a couple contractions, the student asked how important it was for me to not tear. I probably gave her a crazy look and said, “VERY.” She explained she didn’t feel she could adequately support my perineum with me in the tub in the position I was in, so I needed to get out. I probably shot her a wild look again but agreed. I would rather not tear than have a water birth, if those were my options.
My husband had to pick me up out of the tub, dry me off, and put me on the bed. I returned to my hands and knees position on the bed while he supported the weight of my body for me. My body pushed while I focused on breathing. After a few contractions like this, I became frustrated that she wasn’t out. The student explained her head was moving out and back in with each contraction. She then asked me to roll onto my back because she was having a hard time getting the baby’s heartbeat on the doppler (she had been checking periodically throughout labor). I firmly said no. She laughed and asked again, and I firmly said no again.
I moved into a runner’s pose during the next contraction, and her head was born with a nuchal hand. One more, and her body was out. The midwife student caught the baby and tried to pass her up to me through my legs. I couldn’t figure out how to turn over to my back, so she snapped at Caleb to help me. He was stunned, sitting on the 5G bucket we were using for my vomit earlier. He helped me turn over and passed the baby to me. Laying down in my bed with a newborn on my chest was such a relief. We did it!
Not Over Yet
Unfortunately, things were not over. The student quickly began encouraging me to push out the placenta. I was appalled and gave her the craziest look yet because I knew it could take up to an hour to release, so I didn’t understand why she was rushing the process. However, the baby’s cord was already white, and I had excessive bleeding. She was giving me herbs to slow the bleeding, but there was nothing else she could do. She was not able to carry Pitocin at the time as a student. The secondary midwife arrived after a few minutes, and the student told her I needed Pit. She ran to her car and brought it back. Caleb tried to shield my eyes (I typically have a fear of needles, but I was not comprehending what was happening) as I received an injection of Pitocin in the thigh and the excessive bleeding stopped. All was well.
Family Time + Lasagna!
After some time snuggling in bed and taking in our first child, I called my parents and sister, and asked them to come over. Once they arrived, we all got to watch the newborn exam together. Aria (Hebrew for Lioness of God) was born at 9:45 pm with a nuchal hand after 37 hours of labor on 7/15 – 7 lbs 15 oz and 20 inches long. I had no tearing or stitches. The midwives helped me get up, shower, get my diaper and pajamas on, and get settled back into bed with the lasagna I had prepped for this moment. Everyone headed home, and Caleb and I went to sleep with our new baby girl at 2:30 am.
Congratulations! I bet your denial of labor really helped! 37 hours is a long time. Great job, mama!