This birth was filled with so much laughter and joy. I felt most confident and in control of my ability to release into the birth process. By far my most primal and powerful experience. And it was just fun! As always, I am in awe of my husband and how he loves and supports me all the time, but especially in labor. He is my everything, and I cannot believe I get to choose him daily. Being able to bring babies into the world with him by my side is an honor.
I thought baby number 3 was going to come for WEEKS. Three ish weeks before she actually arrived, I texted our birth team saying “I don’t think labor is imminent, but I am sensing a shift. I’m not in labor, but feeling like things are preparing.” It is wild the things we recognize and look back on, realizing my body was indeed working on bringing baby girl into this world, but we still had a long road ahead! I finished that text saying, “knowing our kiddos, I’ll say all this and she still won’t come for 4 more weeks.” Almost nailed that one!
The day before our daughter was born was a busy one. I had told my husband when he embarked on our bathroom renovation project earlier in my pregnancy that I wanted to be able to labor in the shower. As we got closer to the end of my pregnancy, despite all his amazingly hard work, it was looking less likely that that would happen. But on October 7, he installed the glass for the shower (half of it at least – but enough for me to labor in!!). My mom, sister, and I put up my birth affirmations on my bedroom wall.
As has almost become tradition now since it’s happened with every baby, my in laws invited us to dinner the night before I had baby girl, but I declined. Call it intuition. We also had some friends invite ask us for a double date night “before this baby pops out” which I first accepted and then quickly declined saying “I think it might be wise for me to stay in tonight.”
I woke up the morning of October 8, 2023 – 41 weeks on the dot – cuddling my sweet 2.5 year old daughter. It was Sunday, which meant pancake Sunday at our house! I had contractions, but nothing too intense. I recognized the familiar period cramp-y feeling to these contractions though which I knew meant things were getting going. We texted our birth team to let them know the contractions were about 40 seconds long and 5.5 minutes apart. I had some light bloody show, but it wasn’t anything major. I told them we may need them today or tomorrow, but in my head, I wasn’t convinced this was anything.
We had a wonderful and relaxed morning with pancakes and fun. I got to take a final weekly bump shot, my older two kids excited to be part of the tradition. Contractions were holding around 5 minutes apart, and I wasn’t convinced we needed to alert anyone. My husband, seeing me from the outside, said we should let our team know. I kept insisting this wasn’t it, an I didn’t want to bring everyone in for a false alarm.
We decided to go to the park to meet some friends – I texted her around 11:15 am saying “Heading to the park. Probably in labor. 
”After a restful morning, I decided if this indeed WAS the real thing, walking to the park could get things moving. The kids played and had fun with their friends for a while. We came home a little over an hour later to get the kids down for naps and to get me some rest.
At around 2, my husband insisted on calling the team over. I asked him to wait an hour to see if things progressed. At 2:10, he asked the team to be there by 3 pm. The contractions weren’t getting closer together, but they were increasing in intensity and I was starting to have to focus through them. I still didn’t think it was the real thing.
I stepped outside to breathe through some contractions in the sunlight. My son brought out the birth ball for me to lean against, and he so sweetly gave me his beloved bunny to comfort me through the contractions. Without me knowing it, he grabbed my phone and took a few beautiful labor shots of me bathed in sunlight holding his bunny.
My doula, Shelly, arrived at 3 pm almost exactly. My sister, photographer, and midwife arrived not too long after. By this point, I was definitely having to stop and breathe through contractions, but I was laughing, smiling, and joking between them. I was still convinced this would fizzle out. I was doing a lot of birth ball sitting and bouncing. I also was using a wooden comb in my hand during contractions to work with the intensity. We started Sprigs’ Active Labor tincture to encourage my body to lean into the unfolding process.
I sat on the floor, my husband holding my two earthside kiddos, and we all just laughed and enjoyed these inbetween times. My son brought my ice and brushed my hair. The kids helped (ish!) set up the birth pool. To keep my energy up, my husband pan fried me a steak which was amazing.
A little after 4:30, I said I wanted to try laboring in the shower. I was STILL not convinced this was the real deal and was kind of annoyed with my husband for bringing everyone over when I was sure this would peter out soon. I had never experienced being so relaxed and aware between contractions, so I really didn’t believe this was anything real! I brought the ball into my beautiful and huge brand new shower, and I labored.
Maybe a half hour into being in the shower, I had a particularly intense contraction. I vividly remember having my hands planted on the ground, feeling the water streaming over my fingers and recognizing “we’re in this – I’m about to have my baby – this is the real thing.” That was followed by one of the most beautiful moments of my labor – I got up and sat on the birth ball in the shower. My husband had been next to me the entire labor, but our older kids joined him, and they all held my hand through a contraction. My kids fed me ice chips, and we just smiled and breathed together. It was one of the most special moments of my life, breathing with my family, working toward bringing our new baby earthside.
When I left the shower, things got much more intense. I pretty immediately wanted to get into the tub but it wasn’t deep enough or hot enough yet. I was pretty sure I was getting close to transition. I had a hard time making it to the tub and kind of collapsed from contractions onto my knees on my way. My husband and doula were there to catch me a provide the counterpressure I needed. Despite the intensity, I was still laughing an smiling between contractions for now. There were a few contractions on the floor where I got into a split squat instinctively and thought she might just come then. But she was meant to be a water baby.
I got in the tub (with much effort and help!), and the contractions kept coming. I was LOUD, and I got very hot. I was certainly in transition at that point because the “I can’t do this anymore” feeling came on strong. I said it out loud, and the room was filled with the reassurance that I could indeed do it. I was given cool towels and encouraged to rest between contractions. I had the comb in my hand which helped (though I wish it had been taken before I started pushing because I had some pretty rough near punctures after all this!).
I said I couldn’t do it, and someone reminded me to look at my affirmation wall. I read a few out loud, and I landed on “I will work with my baby” and kept repeating that mantra. I started naturally pushing about 45 minutes before our daughter was born. I got breaks, but her head was very close and the intensity was high. I was able to reach down and feel her head, something I wasn’t brave enough to do during my other labors. It was such a powerful feeling, her being so close to the edge of the world.
I pushed a few times following my body’s commands, and my midwife noted our baby’s heart rate slowing. Our team reminded me to breathe, but there was still concern about the heart rate, so they made the call to get oxygen on me. In my head, I said “I AM FUCKING BREATHING,” but it wasn’t enough. They all breathed with me, and it was amazing to hear baby girl’s heart rate respond to my slow deep breaths. In the midst of all of the commotion and my self-doubt, what felt like an angel – but was actually our assistant midwife – whispered gently in my ear “breathe. Breathe. Breathe.” It slowed and deepened my breathing completely and brought baby girl’s heart rate back up.
My midwife got her midwife voice and said “you don’t need to purple push, but it’s important your baby comes out now.”
Using the side of the pool as leverage for my foot and deep in my husband’s embrace and support, I (more coached than I would have liked) pushed her head out with a lot of encouragement and a some override of my natural instincts. This part of the birth is a little blurry for me as I was deep in labor land. I am so grateful for my midwife who kept her calm and maintained the peaceful and joyful energy of the room for me, protecting my birth space all while our assistant midwife prepared emergency resuscitation items for our baby.
The moment her body released from the birth canal, everything felt like it went to slow motion, both of us floating in suspension – her in the water and me in the inbetween coming back to my body.
Our midwife quickly unwrapped her double nuchal cord and almost instantaneously placed her into my awaiting hands. I quickly brought her to my chest, and tore the oxygen mask off my face. She took a moment to come to, but there was peace and patience for the process. No one panicked as her soul took hold in her body. I spoke to her, and felt sweet relief when she let out a cry.
In the midst of my getting oxygen and baby girl’s heart rate dropping, my husband asked my sister to take our kids out of the room to give space around the tub. Once she was born, they came quickly back in, greeting their baby sister in the tub.
I stayed in the tub to try to nurse sweet girl and to birth the placenta, all of which happened within about 20 minutes of her birth. Shortly after, I moved to my bed with my husband and assistant midwife helping me out of the tub and onto the bed all while baby girl never left my arms. Once comfortable in bed, she nursed for the first time, and I cried, grateful for baby who would nurse.
I was fed scrambled eggs (my always and forever postpartum meal) by my amazing husband, and I laid in bed nursing my baby while everything around me happened. My big kids helped deflate the birth tub and then my daughter came to cuddle with her new baby sister and me (and steal some eggs).
About 2 hours later after all was cleaned up, we did the newborn exam right on the end of my bed. My husband and son cut baby girl’s cord while I held our (now) middle daughter. My husband put on her first diaper and got his first skin to skin time with her while I was helped to the bathroom for my first pee!
My son wanted a chance to hold his new sister which we allowed to happen on the ground. It was such a beautiful moment – until he decided he was done and went to set her on the ground. We all laughed because he was so gentle and kept supporting her well as he went to put her down. Both big kids were just so, so excited to meet their baby sister.
I came back to bed and was tucked in with my sweet baby, ready to rest with my sweet girl, husband, and big kids. This birth was a true joy. There was so much laughter, happiness, and smiling throughout. I could not be more grateful for my husband who never left my side, my kids who were supportive and helpful, and for my whole birth team for standing witness to the birth process so lovingly.
All birth photos by Lawren Rose Photography at https://www.lawrenrosephotography.com/
Find my birth video here: https://www.instagram.com/p/DA4GYOISuRg/