Mama. Mommy. Mom. Mother. Such simple words to describe such a vital role.
Becoming a mother changed everything for me. It got me started on living a cleaner, healthier life. It changed my perspective on fitness and exercise. It gave me a focal point for my desire to help and care for others. It has taught me about myself, revealing both flaws and perfections I hadn’t seen before. It gave me a new purpose and a new identity. When I birthed my son, I was birthed myself, and the raw power of that was overwhelming.
I’ve always wanted to be a mom. While I went through phases growing up of wanting to be other things, I always consistently knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to have kids, and I wanted to stay home and raise those kids. I entered the workforce after college, but I never had a burning passion for any of the work I was doing. It wasn’t where my heart was.
Even with the constant and long lasting desire for motherhood, I didn’t fully understand the job. Now over two years into it, it’s hard to fully understand the scope of being mom, chef, nurse, teacher, etc. all at once. Motherhood is the most humbling and rewarding experience.
This is my third Mother’s Day, and each has hit a little differently. In 2019, I was pregnant with our first who was a big surprise. We had always talked about having kids young and soon after marriage, but we didn’t expect a positive three weeks before our wedding. We were a little younger, and it was a little sooner than we expected! By Mother’s Day, I was nearing the end of pregnancy and loving every moment of it. We had no idea what to expect or who it was inside my belly dancing around, but we were so excited to be on the path to becoming parents. This pregnancy transformed me (and my husband), kicking off research and understanding that would send ripple effects through every part of our lives.
For 2020, I had a chubby little man in my arms, the most relaxed, happiest, and most smiley baby I’ve ever known (though on the actual day of Mother’s Day, he was teething and very unhappy). I was almost a year into having my baby on the outside, and it was an adventure of a year. I spent most of that first year attached to a pump to provide my son (and many other babies) liquid gold. It was a very challenging year, but it was also one of the most beautiful of my life. I stepped into my roles as both wife and mother basically at the same time.
Now in 2021, I’m growing another little one while chasing around our toddler. Watching my son discover the world, find joy in the smallest things, and learn every second of every day is nothing short of magical. All while I grow new life within me, experiencing the mystery, magic, and pure beauty of pregnancy all over again.
Being a mom is something you are; it is not something you do. And while it’s not my entire being, it colors how I see everything in my life. It shapes how I interact with and face the world around me. It connects us to our ancestors and can give us insight into our most primitive desires and needs if we open up to it. It is filled with sacrifice, the purest of pure love, and strength. It is the epitome of patience, self-awareness, and protection.
My dreams of being called mama, mommy, mom, mother have become reality, and it’s more than I could have ever hoped for. No one else gets the privilege of being called mama by them. I’m their mama no matter what.
Happy Mother’s Day. ♡